I was having the hardest time getting activesync to work, even though the phone was pairing through windows. Then, I found a hint where someone said to pair the phone with the computer from the phone first, then pair from the computer... suddenly, it all worked. Sorry I can't break it down as an exact science, because I was desperate and trying a ton of different things, but I think pairing in that order, after deleting all the previous pairs, fixed it up for me.